Blitzed for the Holidays: Seasonal Employment

7 Dec

[Editor’s Note: This post continues our introspective series as we view Holiday events from the eyes and mouth of America’s truest patriot, Steed]

Seasonal Employment

“My two favorite holidays are Halloween and Christmas, for the usual reasons of role playing and peppermint schnapps. If you need work around these holidays and you are not afraid to get a little dirty, America has a lot to offer. Be that security, tending bar, or selling grass, I have done it all. Truth be told, my past is hazy and I’ll be the first to admit that my career record is less than sterling, greatly in part to the fine deputies of the Sheriffs Department.

Despite the firm hand of the law I do manage periodic weeks of steady employment. Usually, you can find me swooning livestock at Golden Eagle Ranch and around Christmas my brother Gert let’s me roll heads as a bouncer at his pawn shop. I use his shop as my bank as well, so it works out great for everyone involved. This year is no different, so ladies come on down to Gert R Pawned most weeknights from 10pm-4am, I look forward to seeing you.”

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