On Bended Knee: Putting the Gift in Gift Registry

4 Jan

(Editor’s Note: On Bended Knee delivers the gritty details of wedding planning straight from those with their ears to the pavement.)

Dan Swanky’s values the blessed union of love and scorns its deterioration into a glorified birthday party for two. But in all reality, unless you are Ron Swanson, the idea of a joint birthday party probably ranks high on your bucket list. The opportunity to select your gifts in advance does damper the surprise element, but there is no greater joy than unwrapping the 12-inch buck knife so graciously gifted by Aunt Maj.

Selecting items for a registry can be intimidating. Thread count issues aside, the real dilemma lies in the potential conflict between the bride and the groom. Who get’s to decide on the sweet swag that will adorn your new abode? If you are the groom, your bride to be has already created lists of most items you will need until your future children graduate from college. With these lists in hand, along with a few drinks of your choice, it is time to get creative.

The best thing a man can do with his registry is make sure his bar tending needs will be taken care of indefinitely. Quaffers, muddlers, jiggers, and shooters all make excellent presents, so be sure to stock up. Also, if you are like most men, you secretly enjoy preparing a 10-lb sirloin tip roast from Bill the Butcher but you would rather not nitpick over best crock pot. Select the items YOU want from the lists, add some outdoor items for necessity, and round out your man registry with one extravagant but obviously necessary item. Return the completed list to your lady, enjoy the next few seconds of peace while she peruses, and hopefully accepts your dirty work.  If not, compromise is the fruit of marriage, so get some practice in before it is too late.


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