On Bended Knee: A Sweeter Honeymoon

11 Mar

Known as the dessert of the wedding cycle, a honeymoon is a tradition of passion that sends two newlywed souls on an adventure designed to shock the mind with high levels of pleasure. Including access to 24/7 buffet carts, this mandatory post-nuptial journey of temptation shares one other thing with the city of Las Vegas, the need for an unbeatable motto. The famous “What happens here, stay’s here” slogan has helped countless travelers manage the weight of the loose morals they detrimentally buried themselves under the previous evening, highlighting the need for a honeymoon motto that can match your desired level of intensity, relaxation, or sport.

Travel branding is not a new concept, and serious “T-Branders” practice even when they they run local errands. Jess Sullivan, a prize winning bamboo farmer and pioneer of T-Branding, recently stopped by Swanky HQ for an interview. Following his punishment of 200 push-ups for interrupting our weekly hot yoga session, the creative discussion got on track and produced the perfect honeymoon branding strategy.

DS: “T-Branding is a confrontational practice. The few people who do not think you are crazy argue that you cannot brand the idea of a trip, much less an experience that varies from person to person. How do you manage to capture it?”

Jess:  “Whenever and wherever the opportunity exists to further define individuality, especially in a less expressed medium such as Travel, ignoring this urge would be to defy my human nature, something I haven’t done in 43 years. Understanding the tangibility and allure of nature’s weave is the basic framework for succeeding in T-Branding.

DS: “Aren’t vacations supposed to be enjoyable? Why do we need this notion of T-Branding?”

Jess: “I spent 1975-1990 on the open seas, and the only way I have remembered one port town from another is by word associations. I select the finest memories from each destination and patch them together to form a permanent memory. Give it a try, ask me to remember any city and what I did there.”

DS: “OK,  Astoria, Oregon?”

James: “Police chase on the beach, hazy underground adventure and treasure”

DS: “That sounds a little bit like the plot of the movie, The Goonies.

Jess: “Only superficially, I released my Astoria, Oregon T-Brand in 1985, and the producers of Goonies blatantly ripped it off without any recognition towards my original experiences.

DS: “Wow, despite sour grapes with The Goonies, it seems as if T-Branding has worked well for you.  Since Honeymoon season is coming up, do you have any advice for couples seeking out the perfect T-Brand?”

Jess: “T-Branding is about matching your expectations with reality. It is important to start the trip with one motto and then use the positive energy you captured from your experiences to mold your brand into an unforgettable mantra. Regardless of where people visit, the idea is to leverage your T-Brand to amplify enjoyment, capture memories and connect with your new life partner.”

DS: “Jess, we want to thank you for showing up today. Your phenomenal explanation of T-Branding hopefully has tipped the scales in favor of this new and exciting travel novelty.”

Jess: “No problem at all, I love spreading the good word. Visit http://www.T-Brandz.com for my personal branding videos, and other helpful tips.”


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