Working For The Weekend

26 Mar

Dan Swanky’s old pal and resident Steed recently reached the summit of the Job Search mountain and has been rewarded with a shiny new executive job at a towering skyscraper downtown.  The opportunity to hear Steed’s unique perspective on the business world is one we didn’t want to pass up.  So we gave him a pocket notebook, some Walking Around Money for his troubles, and then sat back to await the results.  His dispatches did not disappoint.

“A professional ‘Hello’ from my office in the clouds.  I’ve been here for two weeks now, and I still get pretty jazzed about being all the way up on the 40th floor.  The elevator ride up in the mornings offers up a little adrenaline boost that shakes the hangover cobwebs away and gets me amped up for the office.  To top that off, I then get to use my keycard to scan in through three secure doors on the way to my office area, which is really fucking sweet.  Casually flipping that card out on its little retractable string makes me feel like a dapper scientist, walking through secure areas on my way to do some top-secret stealth government shit.  It’s a little bit of a letdown when I get to my desk and realize all I’ve got to do are some spreadsheets, but I’m liking the daydream material.

But anyways.  You guys want to hear the gritty details about fast life in the working world.  It is definitely a crazy place here in the financial district, both in and out of the office.  There are unspoken rules all over the place, and I’m learning them almost as quickly as I’m bending them to my will.  I’m coming in on an ‘Entry-Level’ status here, but have serious designs on moving up the power ladder quickly, so I’ve been making some moves right off the bat.

One of the first moves I made was based off some ‘incidents’ that came up at my last few office jobs.  I found out that Rohit and Chad are the IT fellows assigned to my particular department, and I made a quick trip down to their offices to have a chat.  Several dollars and a few comped Dave & Busters’ Eat + Play Combos later, we had come to a little understanding.  As long as I wasn’t distributing company information, they’d watch my back in case I raised any red flags with web site traffic (Myspace, Sportsbook, Ashley Madison, etc.) or questionable email content.  Don’t want any messy tech issues impeding my rise to the top here.

After my chat with IT, I was exposed to a daily part of office life that should have some big-time implications for how my future plays out.  Lunchtime.  Here in the high-octane business district, the hours of 12-2 are filled with tension and strong power plays, both inside and outside the company’s walls.  At our company and in most others, officemates band together in groups before heading out to the local restaurants for some midday dining.  As a wolf enthusiast, I’ve become familiar with the pack mentality and let me tell you, these lunch groups are just a bunch of wolf packs in like-colored business shirts roving the downtown streets.  And like with every wolfpack, there are the alphas of the groups and the ones that want to be the alphas.

I got a heads-up on some of our alpha dynamics during my first week at the office.  I had already noticed that Curtis was one of the louder ones on my floor, and most of the catchphrases he coined were picked up quickly around the copyrooms.  He was usually leading the lunch charge every day, but one day a fellow named Stephen made a play at the morning meeting.  Stephen stated that he was really feeling like some Noodle Bar that day.  After a few quiet yet tense seconds Curtis calmly reiterated his plan to get some wraps at noon.  The tension was heavy for the next couple hours, but as 12 came around Stephen joined us for some tasty wraps.

I’ve also gotten a glimpse at how the lunch pack power plays get pretty intense outside of the office as well.  The packs usually organize according to company/industry, and stalk the business district streets during lunch hours.  The groups will usually keep their distance from each other, but will exchange professional head nods if they happen to pass by on the same sidewalk.  Occasionally, two friends from different packs will break off from the groups to exchange a handslap/hug or quick ‘whatsup’ before darting back to the home pack with assurances that it was ‘just a friend.’

From what  I can see, the opportunity to make a name for myself on these streets will come at lunch time.  Each pack typically occupies the same couple lunch spots for weeks at a time.  The transition of lunch spot from one pack to another usually happens naturally and with little excitement.  At times, however, one pack seeking to make a power statement can jump the gun on an occupied spot and attempt a hostile takeover.  This happened last week at the Subway down the street.

The Slim-Fit Plaids from the new boutique I-Bank had been getting squirrelly ever since moving onto the office block, and they showed up for $5 footlongs last Thursday, even though the Wells Fargo Stripes had been holding down the spot for a week.  There were a tense few moments when the Stripes milled about outside Subway’s glass doors, pretending to check their smartphones with furrowed brows, but one of their alphas eventually assumed control and they headed towards Quizno’s without further incident.

Strategic games  like these have gotten my competitive juices going, and I can’t wait to jump in to our office pack power game.  Once I’ve gotten some respect on the homefront, I can start making some moves on the lunchtime sidewalks towards becoming a regional presence.  Curtis had better watch his back, because I’m here to stay.  Let the games begin.”

Steed’s Business Ethics 101 continues on the next installment of Working For The Weekend…

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3 Responses to “Working For The Weekend”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Working For The Weekend « Dan Swanky's - April 12, 2012

    […] Dan Swanky’s old pal and resident Steed recently reached the summit of the Job Search mountain and has been rewarded with a shiny new executive job at a towering skyscraper downtown.  The opportunity to hear Steed’s unique perspective on the business world is one we didn’t want to pass up.  So we gave him a pocket notebook, some Walking Around Money for his troubles, and then sat back to await the results.  His dispatches did not disappoint.  Prior WFTW: One. […]

  2. Working For The Weekend | Dan Swankys - April 22, 2012

    […] Dan Swanky’s old pal and resident Steed recently reached the summit of the Job Search mountain and has been rewarded with a shiny new executive job at a towering skyscraper downtown.  The opportunity to hear Steed’s unique perspective on the business world is one we didn’t want to pass up.  So we gave him a pocket notebook, some Walking Around Money for his troubles, and then sat back to await the results.  His dispatches did not disappoint.  Prior WFTW: One. […]

  3. Working For The Weekend « Dan Swanky's - April 26, 2012

    […] and then sat back to await the results.  His dispatches did not disappoint.  Prior WFTW: One, […]

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