Summer Livin’: Fun With Water

24 Jul

Editor’s Note:  Summer Livin’ is a segment in which we ask our friend Steed to offer some words of wisdom on how to best enjoy certain staples of the summer months.  For further reason as to why this should be appointment Internet all summer long, check out the Introduction.  On to the easy livin’. 

“If you’re like me, you’ve been spending every day for the last several weeks sweatin’ something fierce.  The temps always get pretty scorching during July and August, but there’s something about this year that feels like someone cranked the Big Thermostat In The Sky just a few notches higher.  Normally I like to spend at least of few hours of the Summer Day kicked back on the front porch with a cold BLL, but at this point, even the shaded areas of the outdoors are unbearable between the hours of 9am and 6pm.  Unbearable – unless, that is, you’ve got the magic ingredient necessary to combat whatever Summer Heat can throw at you.  Water.  H2O.  Agua.  The clear stuff.

Having access to water, and a lot of it, is necessary for basic health reasons if you want to exist outdoors for long periods of time during the dog days of summer.  The benefits of water access don’t stop with the world of health, however.  No, no.  Recreational Water Activities (RecWatA) are one of my favorite parts of summer.  The very basic combination of hot temps, hot bods, cool drinks, and cold water has been solely responsible for some of the best days of my life, and I have no doubt that they will be responsible for many more to come.

Why is water-play such an awesome part of summer?  For one, RecWatAs are incredibly easy to pull off, and can be started up almost anywhere you are.  Got a patch of grass and a garden hose?  You’ve got yourself a great time.  You could pull out a garbage bag and make a slip-and-slide, or you could just get some friends and take turns playing Elephants [Ed.’s Note: We checked – you spray each other with the hose and make trumpeting noises. More than a few ‘substances’ are typically involved].  Another great thing about messing with water is that the opportunities for fun are limited only to your imagination.  There are all kinds of ways in which you can get yourself and your closest friends wet, and I guarantee you that new ways are thought up every day.  I bet that over the rest of this summer, me and my neighbor Timothy will have made up at least five new awesome RecWatAs.  It’s called creativity.  Look it up.

Now, while you can make up all kinds of awesome water-play ideas (and I encourage you to), there are a few general RecWatAs that get brought out summer after summer, to wildly enthusiastic receptions.  First up is the Pool Day.  Yes, this seems like a pretty obvious idea, but you’d be surprised how many people over the age of 13 overlook the awesome potential of the Pool Day.  Just because you’re not in grade school anymore, and don’t have kids of your own, doesn’t mean you can’t go to the community pool on a hot day with a cooler and some buds and have a great fucking time.  If you’re worried about the No Beverages, No Horseplay rules in effects at most of your local pools, don’t worry – that can easily be overcome by a few cash envelopes delivered to every on-duty lifeguard at the beginning of the summer.  These guards are usually in high school, so $40 in $1 bills will be enough to buy some Look The Other Way time when you wanna bring some Schlitz and Mike’s into the pool.  Just keep the adult activities away from the children in the pool (don’t wanna piss off those parents) and your community pool will become one of your new favorite hang-out spots.  You can hone your back-flip skills of the diving boards, have Chicken Fights for cash prizes, and float to your heart’s content.  That overgrown child Michael Phelps isn’t the only one who knows how to hit a bong and have fun in the pool, y’know what I’m saying?

Another standard RecWatA that’s a lot easier to pull off if you don’t have a pool in your area, or have gotten kicked out of ’em all (Tobias) is the slip-and-slide.  Don’t let the screaming kids and unfortunate YouTube montages scare you off from crafting an epic slip-and-slide of your own.  These things are incredibly easy to make – all you need is a hose and a tarp – and can offer up hours of fun.  If you craft a slip-and-slide the right way, then not much else on a hot day will beat the unadulterated thrill of throwing your half-naked self head-first down a slick surface and seeing what happens on the other end.  You can slide down solo, you can go in pairs or larger groups, it doesn’t matter.  It’s always fun, and even when someone gets hurt, as they inevitably do, it’s not usually too serious.  Just a mild concussion or two.  And if you’re really worried about safety, you can go out on splurge on a pre-made slide with inflatable bumpers.  So really, there’s no reason not to start slip-slidin’ away as soon as possible.

Besides the Pool Day and the Slip-And-Slide, there are tons of other great RecWatAs out there that can get you through these unbearably hot summer months with a smile on your face.  You can bring the Pool Day to you by setting up an inflatable pool in your front or back yard, and from there, the opportunities are numerous.  Or you could buy yourself a nice new water-balloon launcher and get your neighbors/strangers in on the fun.  You could also let Mother Nature show you how she does RecWatAs, and head out to your local swimming hole or easy-flowing river.  Me and the crew have started many great days by tossing a few pony kegs of Schlitz in the river and then floating along with ’em until they’re empty.

There are tons of chances to get out and splash around somewhere, so what are you waiting for?  Peel off that sweaty tank, throw on some jorts you don’t mind getting wet, and get started.”

 

[Top Photo Courtesy of CollegeHumor]

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