Tag Archives: I Wanna Party With You

I Wanna Party With You: Halloween Edition

30 Oct

Sometimes, you don’t really get to know what someone is really about until you can sit down, loosen the tie, and toss a couple back with them.  So whenever a particular group of people have piqued our interest here at DS, we figure the best way to learn more about them, and ourselves, is to take a look at what it would be like to party with them.  It’s social science, if you will.  This is I Wanna Party With You.  It’s heavy stuff.

Halloween Parties

The week or so before Halloween is prime party season.  A magical, party-friendly atmosphere is created by the confluence of a couple different factors:  1) the cooling temperatures give the night air a little extra zip, making those early fall nights feel refreshing and a bit dangerous,  2) Halloween is a pretty universal concept that everyone can use for an excuse to party, to the point that people will feel left out if they’re not there, and 3) there are costumes everywhere.

It’s factor number 3 that makes Halloween parties some of the more unique and absurd events on the year’s social calendar.  Costumes for Halloween provide an opportunity for people to shed their normal insecurities along with the shackles of social decorum and proceed to let their freak flags fly – behind the safety net of the fact that nearly everyone else is doing it.

It’s interesting that even though young kids are typically pretty riled up when it comes to dressing up for Halloween, it’s when people enter their later teens and adulthood that they start spending the most time and energy on costume decisions.  There usually seems to be a period of indifference to the idea of Halloween costumes around middle school and high school, but as kids start to get introduced to the fun-stifling constructs of the adult world, and as the definition of ‘party’ drastically changes, the motivation and possibilities of dressing up in costume strengthen and expand.

As you get older, you can start to appreciate the unique allure behind showing off some imagination and maybe looking extra-sexy while hanging out with a bunch of people doing the same.  Costumes are one big X-factor thrown into every Halloween party, and if you’re a fan of parties, you know how much better they can be with X-factors in the mix.

Coming into the chilly Halloween season this year, we’re going to take a look at a few of the more common X-factor outfits (read: costumes) that you, as a legal adult, maybe come into contact with this year.  Or you may be already planning on doing one or more of these ideas, and if so, we mean little to no offense for the following opinions.

 

Magic Mike

There are two possible avenues that a fellow could take to get to this particular costume choice.  The first could be a fully irony-free, bright-eyed, oiled-up, and fake-tanned embrace of the Magic Mike image.  This could be a gentleman who hits the gym daily and sees an opportunity to show the ladies that he can offer up the guns-and-washboard package just like the Chan-man can.  These guys’ lack of self-awareness, reliance on shiny graphic tees, and propensity for rage bursts could definitely be a party downer.

The other approach to MM time could throw some irony into the concept.  The ‘I know this is ridiculous, but I see the laughter behind Chan-man’s version of “Pony” and I want to join in on that brand of ridiculousness.  There’s bonus points given if they body type of said fellow is nowhere near that of Mike’s.  Just don’t look for too long.

Good Party Meter:

6/10

Presidential Candidate

With 2012 being an election year, there will probably be a few faux-presidential candidates running around out there.  Many of these topical revelers will go with the standard business suit-and-mask costume.  You know the masks – big rubber caricatures of presidents often used in cinematic bank robberies.  So far it seems like Obama masks are the most common ones, but we know Romney’s out there.

These masks are generally creepy even if you just see them hanging up on a shelf in some costume store, and when you put it on some drunk person you don’t really know at a house party you may or may not feel 100% safe at, it’s going to be a party buzz-killer.  Are they looking at you or at the person to your left?  Are those muffled sounds coming from behind the mask a request for more ice, or are they making a lewd come-on that you should be taking as a sign to get the hell out of the room?  Just lose the mask.  You’re making everyone feel weird.

Good Party Meter:

1/10

Breaking Bad

Another buzzy piece of entertainment that will inspire some costumes this year is Breaking Bad.  The most common of these will probably be the yellow jumpsuit and gas mask combination that Walter White and Jesse Pinkman wear to cook their very special brand of blue meth.  If someone is out wearing this particular costume, it says a couple of things about them that give a promising indication of their party abilities.

First, they are promoting an amazing series, and they have good taste.  Second, they are okay with a little grittiness, hence the drug references, and as long as this is not a lot of grittiness, that adds some flavor to the proceedings.  Third, if it’s a lady in a yellow suit, they have all of the above, plus a sense of humor about things, and the self-confidence to pull it all off.  Check, check, check.

Good Party Meter:

7/10

Replacement Ref

This would have been a cool choice for about two days a couple of months ago.  Unfortunately, there will be a decent amount of partygoers this Halloween who didn’t get that particular vibe from this costume choice, and will push forward in an attempt to be topical with some zebra stripes and zany accessories.

The party problems this indicates is that this person has a thudding sense of humor and probably doesn’t get out much.  Also, after a few Zimas, they will most likely start blowing on a whistle or doing severe hand motions that will get old midway through the first time it happens.  If it’s a lady who is wearing a ref shirt and nothing else, we’ll reconsider adding a couple of points.  But still.

Good Party Meter:

3/10

80s

In the past several years, the 80s have seen a widespread costume resurgence to the point that a college 80s aerobics-themed party is no longer just a cliche – it’s an expected tradition.  So whoever goes the 80s route for their costume will more than likely be getting a big 0 for originality.  That’s a zero.  When it comes to communicating and facilitating a debauched, no-holds-barred party energy, however, the 80s are second-to-none.

Try putting on a serious 80s party costume and then not having at least a tiny urge to get out there and dance your ass off to New Wave with other 80s-themed cuties.  It’s pretty tough to resist it.  The other solid thing about the 80s decision is that you’ll run out of parties before you run out of costume options.  Barely.  There’s 80s rocker, wrestler, skier, prom, wedding, fitness, porn star, prep school, beach day….

Good Party Meter:

8/10

 

Party On…

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I Wanna Party With You: Expendable Edition

17 Aug

Sometimes, you don’t really get to know what someone is really about until you can sit down, loosen the tie, and toss a couple back with them.  So whenever a particular group of people have piqued our interest here at DS, we figure the best way to learn more about them, and ourselves, is to take a look at what it would be like to party with them.  It’s social science, if you will.  This is I Wanna Party With You.  It’s heavy stuff.

Action Parties

The second installment of the Expendables movie franchise hits theaters this week, offering audiences the chance to see their (parents?) favorite action heroes team up on screen for another round of snappy one-liners and exploding body parts.  The sequel adds even more familiar action faces to the cast, with the likes of Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme coming out of semi-retirement to see if they can out-forearm-sweat Stallone, Statham, and the rest of the series regulars.

We all pretty much know what we’re going to get with the new Expendables.  There will be tons of body blows that land almost as hard as the muttered bits of dialogue.  There will be a lot of winking nods and outright jokes aimed at the stars’ ages, previous movies, and real-life histories.  There will be lots of shooting, gratuitous explosions, and at least one scene in which Stallone directs a plane to do things that spit in the face of rudimentary physics.  We know all of these things.  But what we don’t know, at least for most of us that didn’t frequent the Hollywood Hills house circuit in the late 80s – mid 90s, is what it’s like to party with these action stars.  After the sweat, blood and burn marks have been wiped off, after the last bullet fired and the last punch thrown, what are these brawny bros really like?  Let’s get to hypothesizing.

Sylvester Stallone

Stallone often seems to be one of, if not the most, creatively-minded members of this action star crew.  He’s been the driving force behind getting The Expendables going as a viable franchise, and in addition to directing the first Expendables, he’s also written several movies over the course of his career – including the iconic First Blood (Rambo 1) and Rocky.  While many of the other action guys have seemed content to stick to acting, Stallone has stood out in his creative drive and output.

That creative side is great when it comes to making movies, and it would probably make for some interesting conversation at points during drinks or at a party.  Part of that creative mindset, however, includes having a sensitive disposition – and that can lead to some uncomfortable or unfortunate moments.  In interviews he’s given, Stallone can at times come off as being a pretty defensive dude, and it’s easy to see that becoming magnified in a party situation.  All it takes is a couple of Patron shots and one flippant comment about short guys or the overrated aspects of Rocky, and all of a sudden you’ve got an angry little ball of tanned muscle looking for a rage outlet.  Not the most stable of party mates.

Good Party Meter:

5/10

 

Bruce Willis

The first thing we’d do if partying with Bruce would be to get on first nickname basis – it would be pretty sweet to be able to casually mention you’re ‘heading out to go get beers with Bruno.’  The people that know what you mean would know how special you are.  Besides the whole nickname thing, Bruce seems like he would be a pretty solid guy to share a couple of cold Schlitzes with.  He likes rock ‘n’ roll, he likes motorcycles, he’s John fucking McClane.  In short, he’s a man’s man, and would have tons of good stories to share.

The issue with Bruce is that there is a part of him that scares the shit out of us.  It’s not a loud and obnoxious style, but there’s a quiet rage inside of Bruce that is quite daunting.  This dormant rage played well in Live Free Or Die Hard – Bruce was very convincing as the father of a teenage daughter who just seethed with quiet anger at any and every guy who looked at her twice.  It wouldn’t play well, however, in a carefree party scene.  We can just imagine asking Bruce one too many times to say “Yippie-kay-a motherfucker,” after which he would just put his beer down and stare at us quietly as we dissolved into puddles of shame and self-hatred.  Party over, at least for us.

Good Party Meter:

6/10

 

Chuck Norris

Chuck has been the subject of many jokingly outlandish ‘Chuck Norris jokes’ over the last several years, so it would seem at first that he would be an early favorite to party with.  Have a beer with Chuck and make him do ridiculous things, like punch bears!  And then he’ll do them!  But, no.  This may be an unpopular opinion, but we’re personally not big fans of Mr. Chuck as a party companion.

His movies are alright, as far as ridiculous action movies go, and there are definitely a lot of unintentionally awesome scenes in Walker, Texas Ranger.  There have been many reports, however, that real-life Chuck is not like the action character Chuck.  That real-life Chuck is pretty convinced of his righteousness, and that he almost wouldn’t appear in The Expendables 2 because of the explicit language and other awesome things that earned the movie an ‘R’ rating.  So you can keep the played-out Chuck Norris jokes and go join Chuck at the soda fountain, because we’ll stick with Bruno and some Schlitzes.

Good Party Meter:

1/10

 

Jason Statham

Jason Statham is one of the few big names in The Expendables that is arguably still in his movie-making prime.  He’s definitely not in the same generation as the likes of Stallone and Schwarzenneger, and he’s still pumping out 1-2 solid action movies per year.  He hasn’t quite reached the worldwide mega-star status that those guys hit in the 80s, but he’s still got a solid reputation among action movie fans.  That would be a pretty good way to describe our impression of Jason as a party companion – solid.

Apart from a dry English wit that he usually sports in his movies, there’s not a lot to The Stath that indicates he’s got any crazy qualities that would come out after a few drinks.  And that’s both a good and bad thing.  Bad, because when compared to some of the other flamboyant characters on this list, he could get a little boring after a while.  Good, though, because in case anything goes down at said party, like Stallone losing his mind and going after anyone over 6 ft. tall, you can be assured that good ol’ Stath will have your back, no matter what.

Good Party Meter:

7/10

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold has been in some pretty awesome action movies over the years, but at this point, his silver-screen exploits have probably been eclipsed by the ridiculousness of his actual life.  The guy moved to the U.S. as a teenager, became a sensation in the body-building world, transitioned to movies and conquered that world for a time, and then moved on to politics and became governor of the biggest state in America.  Along the way, he’s shown at many points that he’s got a pretty good sense of humor, and he loves to have a good time.

Say what you will about his recent marital troubles – this guy is by all accounts a pretty interesting person to hang out with.  We would love to get Arnold in a party setting, pull out some beer and some bud, see if the Party Arnold of this and this is still around, and if it is, if Party Arnold would like to come out and mingle.  We’re guessing that he is, and that he would.

Good Party Meter:

9/10

 

Party On…

I Wanna Party With You: Hero Edition

5 Jul

Sometimes, you don’t really get to know what someone is really about until you can sit down, loosen the tie, and toss a couple back with them.  So whenever a particular group of people have piqued our interest here at DS, we figure the best way to learn more about them, and ourselves, is to take a look at what it would be like to party with them.  It’s social science, if you will.  This is I Wanna Party With You.  It’s heavy stuff.

Super Parties

Some of the biggest characters of the 2012 Summer movie season are guys who spend a lot of their time messing around in costumes.  From the Avengers to Spider-Man to Batman, the general public are clearly interested in these guys, as their movies are drawing huge crowds at box offices all over the world.  A lot of these heroes’ appeal has to do with their affinity for awe-inspiring action sequences.  But what are they like when the special effects end?  When they take off their masks or capes and pour themselves a cold one at the end of the day?  When one beer turns to seven turns to twenty?

Note:  In this study, we’re going to use the 2012 movie versions of these characters.  

Batman (Bruce Wayne):

When you party with Batman, the good part is that you are partying with Bruce Wayne as well.  The Bruce Wayne who dates four models at a time, drives souped-up sports cars, and buys entire city blocks on a whim.  Bruce has more money than he knows what to do with, and he seems pretty cool with spending wildly.  This could lead to some memorable party opportunities, and you know that you would never have to foot the bill.

The downside of partying with Bruce Wayne is that eventually, Batman will come out.  And that makes us nervous.  Batman is a great guy to have on your side when you’re going up against a bunch of bad guys.  But a big part of his hero shtick is an unrelenting intensity that doesn’t play too well in party settings.  Or really, any kind of civilized, normal setting.  Suppose you’re partying with Bruce Wayne, drinking $500,000 bottles of champagne, when all of a sudden he slips into the gruff, husky Batman voice and loses his mind.  The next thing you know, the fun has stopped and you’re in the middle of that drunken wrestling scene from The Hurt Locker.  With someone who looks suspiciously like Patrick Bateman.  And that’s not a place you want to be.

Good Party Meter:

5/10

 

Thor (Thor)

It seems like it would be a great time to sit around a big banquet table and swig mugs of mead with Thor.  There would preferably be a lot of magical medieval things to keep everyone entertained, and Thor would presumably have no problem with getting rip-roaring drunk.  After he’d gone through a few mugs, the hammer would come out for some party tricks, and maybe he’d even call in some thunder and lightning for good measure.  He’s also got the Long Hair Don’t Care party look down.

The only drawback with Thor is that he kind of comes off as a haughty prick sometimes – he lets all the ‘royalty’ and ‘god’ stuff go to his head, and he has no problem letting everyone know how super awesome and jacked he is.  That could be pretty annoying when you’re just trying to take it easy and sip some mead.

Good Party Meter:

7/10

 

Iron Man (Tony Stark)

Partying with Iron Man means you get to party with another guy with silly amounts of money, with the added bonus that Tony Stark doesn’t seem prone to rage blackouts a la Bruce Wayne.  Tony Stark is a technical genius who enjoys having a good time, which provides for party scenarios in which he’s fashioning some crazy-cool gadgets to play with while you hang out in his infinity pool with a bevy of models.

As we’ve seen in his previous movies, Tony Stark doesn’t have a problem with getting drunk while in the Iron Man suit.  He also has several extra suits at his place, just sitting there unused.  This all means that you could party with Tony for a bit, and then slyly drop hints about pulling the suits out.  Once Tony has already started getting his suit on, what’s to stop him from letting you get in one of the extras?  All of a sudden, you’ve gone from a few casual beers to slipping on a near-invincible suit of armor with cool gadgets that allows you to fly.  Tony Stark, we wanna party with you.

Good Party Meter:

10/10

 

Captain America (Steve Rogers)

It’s tough to say anything bad about Steve Rogers.  He’s an American hero who kicked a lot of Nazi ass.  He seems like the nicest guy imaginable, without a sinister bone in his genetically-jacked-up body.  And as Captain America, he can do some pretty sweet things with that shield of his.  The problem with Steve when it comes to partying is that for all of his awesome qualities, he appears pretty boring at times.  Boring in the wholesome, white-washed-product-of-the-40s way.  And almost too good.

We have to wonder if Captain will just stand there judging us as we reach for the third beer.  When he’s only halfway through his first.  And if we crack some dirty jokes, just to lighten up the mood, will Captain just respond with a stony silence, making everyone feel awkward?  We hope that this isn’t the case.  We would hope that Steve would loosen up after a few beers, let his figurative hair down, and do some cool tricks with the super strength of his.  It just could go either way.

Good Party Meter:

6/10

 

Spider-Man (Peter Parker)

2012’s cinematic incarnation of the Web Slinger is still in high school.  Which means that while partying with Peter Parker could be fun, with his nifty web-shooting party tricks and Spidey Sense letting you know when the cops are on their way, it also means that you’re partying with a high schooler.  And there are a lot of issues that go along with that.

When you party with someone in high school, you’re facing a wide range of potential outcomes.  Wild and unpredictable emotional swings, pretending to be drunk, throwing up everywhere, getting bad attitudes, the whole legal issue of giving alcohol to minors.  It’s just not very appealing.  And that’s the problem when partying with Spidey.  There’s a good chance that after his third Bud Light Lime, he’s going to start crying uncontrollably about Emma Stone, try to punch you out when you console him, and end up puking all over your cat before passing out on your couch.  Thanks, Pete, but we’ll wait a couple of years.

Good Party Meter:

3/10

 

The Hulk (Bruce Banner)

This is a no-brainer.  Mark Ruffalo seems like a really chill guy who enjoys some brews, some bud, and some pretty ladies.  But do you want to give alcoholic beverages to someone who turns into a giant rage beast when he loses the slightest bit of control over himself?  Us neither.  Sorry Bruce.

Good Party Meter:

0/10

 

Party On…